


That’s clownery, luv

by DerfMcGerfkin



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: And everyone has roommates! YAY!!!!, F/F, F/M, I mean it, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Miu will NOT stop doing the british girl thing and everyone is done with it, Multi, Probably ooc, Sorry Not Sorry, The new school year has just started!, There are dorms YAY!, and i'm still sleep deprived :), and they were ROOMMATES, but here we are, but sometimes the things she says will literally make them die from laughing, dont tell my dad i made this, everyone is big gae, if you couldn't tell, im gonna make your faves gay and theres nothing you can do about it, im just gonna pretend like everyone is alive and well, im so sorry for this, kaede is kaegae and thats the tea, lit rally insomnia luv xx, new chatfic yay!, oh and surprise surprise, this author regrets everything, this is gonna be very chaotic, this shouldve been kept in google docs, when i say they're all dumbassess, yay!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-25
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22386622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DerfMcGerfkin/pseuds/DerfMcGerfkin
Summary: Evil gremlin: you added me to a chat! does this mean you finally admit that you care about me???Horny on main: noEvil gremlin: love mehorny on main: no fuck off gremlin bitchEvil gremlin: I’ll have you know that I am a sweet treat, I am a fucking delight to be around okay.Horny on main: you want penis enlargement pillsHorny on main: god knows you need themChocka Oofka: angie can confirm this statement.Dummy thicc: BOOM ROASTED
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu/Yonaga Angie, Amami Rantaro/Oma Kokichi, Asahina Aoi/Ogami Sakura, Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Fujisaki Chihiro/Happiness, Gokuhara Gonta/Happiness, Hagakure Yasuhiro/His weed stash, Harukawa Maki/Momota Kaito, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito, Hoshi Ryoma/his tennis racket, Ikusaba Mukuro/Maizono Sayaka, Ishimaru Kiyotaka/Oowada Mondo, K1-B0/Saihara Shuichi, Kirigiri Kyoko/Celestia Ludenberg, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Kuwata Leon/loneliness im not sorry, Kuzuryu Fuyuhiko/Soda Kazuichi, Mioda Ibuki/Nanami Chiaki/Tsumiki Mikan, Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya, Nidai Nekomaru/Tanaka Gundham, Owari Akane/A burger, Shirogane Tsumugi/Tojo Kirumi, Sonia Nevermind/Pekoyama Peko, Teruteru/loneliness im sorry, Ultimate Imposter/Happiness, Yamada Hifumi/A Princess Piggles cardboard cutout probably
Comments: 50
Kudos: 179





	1. can i get a waffle, can i please get a waffle

**Miu Iruma has added Kaede Akamatsu, Angie Yonaga, Keebo, and 12 others.**

**Miu Iruma has changed the names of 16 people.**

**Horny on main:** whats up fuckers

**Mother:** What is the meaning of this, Miu?

**Fuckin weeb:** I thought we agreed no more group chats

**Its an avocado, thanks:** do you remember what happened last time?

**Horny on main:** yes i remember guacamole motherfucker

**Evil gremlin:** miu you added me to a chat! does this mean you finally admit that you care about me???

**Horny on main:** no

**Evil gremlin:** love me

**horny on main:** no fuck off little bitch

**Evil gremlin:** I’ll have you know that I am a sweet treat, I am a fucking delight to be around okay.

**Horny on main:** you want penis enlargement pills

 **Horny on main:** god knows you need them

**Chocka Oofka:** angie can confirm this statement.

**Dummy thicc:** BOOM ROASTED

**emo gremlin:** daijshdmasd

**Evil gremlin:** first things first, my penis is an average size oKAY

 **Evil gremlin:** and second, don’t be fucking rude

**Nice gremlin:** can i get a waffle, can i please get a waffle

**The local gay:** I’ll will get you as many waffles as you wish, Himiko!

**Nice gremlin:** wait tenko its a vine i dont actually want waffles

**Horny on main:** gays stop getting me distracted! 

**Horny on main:** i made this chat cuz im honestly just bored as hell

**PEEanist:** that’s fair

 **PEEanist:** yo why did you name me this

**Horny on main:** sadhjaj you hgett itadjiuasjdkasd cause pianist istt like pee PEEanistjasdadhahahahahAHAHAHANH

**PEEanist:** are you okay?

**Horny on main:** HASDSADHASDJKAJROIUwkruqwiZfesiAOUWKEHWEQIAZKUJJ<AO>

**Mother:** Not again…

**Fuckin weeb:** arent you supposed to be a genius miu? why do you find PEEanist so funny?

**Horny on main:** beajcnaus8 ITYS os SALDAFUNNNY DADJADIJAJDADNHAJDANKJA IMY DYIGN I CNAT BRATH

**Mother:** Do I need to take you to Tsumiki?

**Oaf:** Is Miu okay?

**Nerd:** I think she’s finally lost it

**Horny on main:** madness luv, lit rally madness 

**A knife!:** i will never understand your humor

**Horny on main:** di i said periodt ye luv? be cos periodt!

**Chocka Oofka:** Angie is concerned for you

**Horny on main:** as you should be

**Dummy thicc:** yo not to interrupt or anything but when do classes start 

**A knife!:** kaito, you’re kidding right

**Evil gremlin:** tbh idk either just ask the principal 

**Dummy thicc:** but he’s scaryyyy

**Fuckin weeb:** he really isn’t

**Horny on main:** luv.. tha dont make no cents

**PEEanist:** miu i love you but please stop with the british girl thing

**Horny on main:** abABABSHAHAHAHAHDAH pEE AEAJAIEDASJDHSAKDA

**PEEanist:** again? seriously?

**Robo bitch:** Not to alarm any of you, but Miu is literally on the ground struggling to breath. 

**Mother:** Of course. I’m assuming you two are in her lab?

**Robo bitch:** Yes. Miu said she wanted to do some quick upgrades.

**Mother:** I’m on my way to help.

**PEEanist:** I’m afraid to keep messaging the gc because miu might die again, but is she okay?

**Horny on main:** hADKASHNASDHADAHJASDHADHAD DO UDUIA I FYKCIGHSI LKOOK DAOKJAY JEJSJS JCHRISRTADHSIDHASODJ

**Mother:** I’m taking her the nurses office to see if they can help.

**Fuckin weeb:** good luck

**Mother:** Thank you.

**Evil gremlin:** GAY

**Fuckin weeb:** no u

**Evil gremlin:** you're not wrong

**Nice gremlin:** someone wanna explain why ibuki ran past me in the hallway with a giant fish in her arms

 **Nice gremlin:** she was screaming something about the fish gods?

**PEEanist:** that's Ibuki for you

**Chocka Oofka:** Tell her the fish god is dead, and we have killed him.

**Its an avocado, thanks:** angie what the fuck

**Nice gremlin:** uhhh i have no clue where she went, so i can’t

**Chocka Oofka:** It’s okay! God will tell Angie where Ibuki went!

**Nerd:** you’re not seriously gonna track down ibuki just to tell her this strange fish god is dead, are you?

**Chocka Oofka:** Try me. :)

**PEEanist:** Ogay then, will do ;)

**Evil gremlin:** wow right in front of my salad

**Robo bitch:** Oh? Have you finally decided to eat healthy?

**Evil gremlin:** no! what kind of person do you think i am?

**Fuckin weeb:** hey kaede, stop being gay, some of us are trying to eat

**PEEanist:** you’re one to talk 

**Fuckin weeb:** you wanna go?

**PEEanist:** No, im to busy being gay with Angie.

**Nerd:** please don’t start getting “friskayyyy” in the janitor's closet again, i still can’t get the image of… that out of my head

**Horny on main:** A tragedy luv, lit rally a tragedy x

**PEEanist:** You’re back!

 **PEEanist:** wait no

**Horny on main:** don’t worry, i think the joke has finally worn off

**PEEanist:** thank god

**Evil gremlin:** miu since you’re back can you tell kaede and angie to stop being gay on main

**Horny on main:** kaede and angie stop being gay on main

**PEEanist:** that wasn’t very cash money of you

**Chocka Oofka:** Angie hasn’t been gay, she’s chasing down Ibuki!

**Evil gremlin:** wait you actually did it

 **Evil gremlin:** are we friends now?

**Horny on main:** fren shep luv x

**Evil gremlin:** wait no nevermind

**Mother:** While I am happy you’re better Miu, must you keep doing this “luv x” thing?

**Horny on main:** sorry mom but no

**Mother:** I’m not you’re mother

**Nice gremlin:** then stop acting like it

**Its an avocado, thanks:** this is unrelated but kokichi sucks dick, pass it on

**Evil gremlin:** this is absolutely not funny, delete this immediately or my lawyer will be in contact.

**Its an avocado, thanks:** lets do it baby, i know the law 

**PEEanist:** gay

**Its an avocado, thanks:** yea what about it

**Horny on main:** kokichi and rantaro stop being gay on main or else

**Evil gremlin:** no

**Horny on main:** kaede lets get friskayyy in the janitor's closet again

**PEEanist:** ;)

**Nerd:** NO

**Evil gremlin:** wait i dont wanna hear that again

**The local gay:** This is gay, I like it.

**Evil gremlin:** why are you so mean to me miu :(

**Horny on main:** It’s mafematics luv

**Evil gremlin:** STOP BEING HORNY AND GAY ON MAIN LET ME LIVE

**PEEanist:** bro its not my fault girls so pretty

**Horny on main:** kaede is gay, pass it on

**Chocka Oofka:** kaede is gae, pass it on

**Evil gremlin:** kaed is gae, pass it on

**Dummy thicc:** kaed is gae, pass it 

**Emo gremlin:** kae is gae, pass it

**Fuckin weeb:** ka is gae, pass it

**Nice gremlin:** k is gae, pass it

**Nerd:** k is gae, pass

**Robo bitch:** k is gae, pas

**Its an avocado, thanks:** k is gae, pa

**The local gay:** k is gae

**weirdo:** k is ga

**A knife!:** k is g

**Oaf:** k is go

**Mother:** k is god.

**PEEanist:** that was an emotional roller coaster

**Horny on main:** woah .. am literally speeches .. righ now ….

**Horny on main has changed PEEanist’s name to Kae is gae.**

**Kae is gae:** godammit miu

**Dummy thicc:** unrelated but how thicc is my ass, pls dont lie

**Horny on main:** Vary theck luv xx

  
**Dummy thicc:** thamk u almighty miu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> names of the crackheads
> 
> Miu: horny on main  
> Kokichi: evil gremlin  
> Angie: chocka oofka  
> Rantaro: its an avocado, thanks  
> Kaede: PEEanist  
> Gonta: oaf  
> Shuichi: nerd  
> Himiko: nice gremlin  
> Keebo: robo bitch  
> Kaito: dummy thicc  
> Kirumi: mother  
> Korekiyo: weirdo  
> Maki: A knife!  
> Ryoma: emo gremlin  
> Tenko: the local gay  
> Tsumugi: fuckin weeb


	2. hajime, the underwear stealer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> God: elephants are boring
> 
> Kanye west: you think everything is boring
> 
> God: because it’s the truth
> 
> Epic gaymer: the real truth is that hajime is hajigay
> 
> Kanye west: i came here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn
> 
> I’m babey: join the club

**Chiaki Nanami has added Ibuki Mioda, Hajime Hinata, Mikan Tsumiki, and 12 others.**

**Chiaki Nanami has changed the names of 16 people.**

**Epic gaymer:** NEW GROUP CHAT NEW GROUP CHAT NEW GROUP CHAT

**Fingers in his ass:** i can’t wait to see what this school year will bring

**Small but mighty:** oh god not again

**Kanye west:** everytime you make one of these group chats it always ends in chaos 

**Epic gaymer:** yes, isn’t it beautiful

**Car fucker:** in a way, yes it is

 **Car fucker:** alright chiaki i don’t wanna have any problems with you, sO CHANGE MY FUCKING NAME 

**Epic gaymer:** sorry bruv

**Epic gaymer has changed Car fucker’s name to Ferrari fucker.**

**Ferrari fucker:** CHIAKI WHY

**Babey:** haha

 **Babey:** CHIAKI WHAT THE FUCK IM NTO A ABABY

**Epic gaymer:** okay

**Epic gaymer has changed Babey’s name to I'm babey.**

**I’m babey:** CHIAKI FUCK OFF

**Ferrari fucker:** haHA

**I’m babey:** fuck you, im not giving you a goodnight kiss tonight bitch

**Ferrari fucker:** FUCK

**Kanye west:** fuck indeed

**BEGONE THOT:** that was pretty gay

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** WEREN’T YOU JUST TALKING ABOUT HOW IZURU COULD STEP ON YOU

**BEGONE THOT:** what can i say, i’m a bi icon

**Fingers in his ass:** I love my name! I’m so glad an ultimate like you could see past my garbage exterior and see who i really am! A guy who likes fingers in his ass!

**Epic gaymer:** AHSDAMDAJD

**beesechurger:** jesus christ nagito

**small but mighty:** i hate you all

**Ditto kinnie:** 30 seconds in and this is what happens? This is going to be one hell of a year.

**Litty titty:** You can say that again

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** OAJDOAISJDOASIDKASIO LITTY TITTY

**Epic gaymer:** yes that is what i named her

**Litty titty:** i-

 **Litty titty:** thank you

**Sword waifu:** i wish i had different classmates

**Dad:** no you don’t

**Sword waifu:** you’re right

**BEGONE THOT:** aw, thanks babe

**Sword waifu:** NO

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** IBUKIS CHANGING THE SUBJECT CUZ SHES BORED

 **Pinkie pie kinnie:** THOUGHTS ON ELEPHANTS????

**Nurse joy but cuter:** they’re p-pretty c-cute

**Small but mighty:** did you just type out your stutter?

**Nurse joy but cuter:** uhhh no

**Small but mighty:** im watching you weirdo

**Epic gaymer:** broski, let the girl live

**God:** elephants are boring

**Kanye west:** you think everything is boring

**God:** because it’s the truth

**Epic gaymer:** the real truth is that hajime is hajigay

**Kanye west:** i came here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked rn

**I’m babey:** join the club 

**Ferrari fucker:** we have crying sessions in my room every week

**Spooky boi:** foolish mortals, releasing liquid from your tear ducts while in kazuichi’s room won't fix your psychological issues.

**Ferrari fucker:** bro 

**Epic gaymer:** anywho, classes start like tomorrow are you guys gonna actually show up this time or do chisa and i have to wrangle you nerds up again?

**Kanye west:** if they skip class, i’ll personally steal all of their underwear

**Put gerard back:** you act as if you don’t do that already

**BEGONE THOT:** i’ve been wondering where all my undies went….

 **BEGONE THOT:** what do you think of them hajime?

**Epic gaymer:** what tHE FUCK

**Kanye west:** they surprisingly smell nice

**Epic gaymer:** WHAT THE FUCK HAJIME

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** HAJIME WHY ARE YOU STEALING PEOPLES UNDERWEAR

**Kanye west:** idk

**Fingers in his ass:** does that mean you steal my underwear too? 

**Kanye west:** yea

**Fingers in his ass:** wow

**Kanye west:** i’ve collected all of class 79’s underwear too, i’m hoping to get my hands on class 78’s 

**Dad:** no leave the children out of this

**Fingers in his ass:** well i’ve already got leon’s, he just kinda threw them at me for no reason

**Small but mighty:** that’s really gross

**Kanye west:** sorry luv xx

**Dad:** have you been hanging out with miu lately?

**Kanye west:** dats confdential luv xx

**Epic gaymer:** thats a yes

**Ferrari fucker:** why

**Kanye west:** LITCHERLY DON THINC BOUT IT LUV XX

**Nurse joy but cuter:** lit rally gel us hatas luv keip yuh had ope x

**Epic gaymer:** NOT YOU TOO

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** AHHAAHHAAHAHA

**Small but mighty:** i-

**Pinkie pie kinne:** wOW MIKAN AND HAJIME HANG OUT WITHT MIU AHDASHADAD

**Dad:** if you need me im gonna be taking a long ass nap in my dorm to try and forget this god forsaken day

**BEGONE THOT:** Ugh motavashonyal luv x

**Epic gaymer:** yeah i regret this

**God:** maybe you guys aren’t so boring after all

**Nurse joy but cuter:** period. no tampon luv!

**Epic gaymer:** adakdjasdksaljdakLDS

**Litty titty:** tats facts luv… lit rally genie-us! x

**Spooky boi:** NOT SONIA

**Ferrari fucker:** whY SONIA WHAT DID SHE DO TO YOU

**Nurse joy but cuter:** its a cruwel werld we leev un luv xx

**Beesechurger:** rip hajime, mikan, teruteru, and sonia, you will be missed

**Kanye** **west:** haytahs bee jelous luv and tahts periodt xx

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> names of the gaymers
> 
> Chiaki: epic gaymer  
> Ibuki: pinkie pie kinnie  
> Mikan: nurse joy but cuter  
> Hiyoko: small but mighty  
> Fuyuhiko: babey  
> Peko: sword waifu  
> Hajime: kanye west  
> Nagito: fingers in his ass  
> Izuru: god  
> Imposter: ditto kinnie  
> Akane: beesechurger  
> Gundham: spooky boi  
> Kazuichi: car fucker  
> Mahiru: put gerard back  
> Nekomaru: dad  
> Sonia: litty titty  
> Teruteru: BEGONE THOT


	3. junko's gonna kill you idot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imabadbitchyoucantkillme: do i look like i give a fuck about the law?   
> Imabadbitchyoucantkillme: cuz i don’t. 
> 
> Miss keisha: it’s true, one time i saw her jaywalk… 
> 
> Imabadbitchyoucantkillme: you fucking snitch
> 
> Miss keisha: it’s not my fault you’re a criminal  
> Miss keisha: ...bitch

**Junko Enoshima has added Mukuro Ikusaba, Celestia Ludenberg, Mondo Owada and 12 others.**

**Junko Enoshima has changed the names of 16 people.**

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** yo who the fuck ate my cookie

 **Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** also welcome to the class 78 group chat have fun idiots

**Gang gang:** it was me, bitch

**Egg:** oh, worm?

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** you’re dead 

**Rulesaremybitch:** Junko! You can’t kill anyone, that’s illegal!

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** do i look like i give a fuck about the law? 

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** cuz i don’t.

**Miss keisha:** it’s true, one time i saw her jaywalk…

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** you fucking snitch

**Miss keisha:** it’s not my fault you’re a criminal

 **Miss keisha:** ...bitch

**Itsthegoodkush:** o shi junko's gonna kill u

**Kiwi has changed the chat name to o shi junkos gonna kill u**

**I** **mabadbitchyoucantkillme:** it's not funny stop

**Egg:** its funny

**Miss keisha:** haha you can't kill me, i have the power of god and anime on my side!

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:**... are you watching naruto again?

**Miss keisha:** uh....

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** wtf i thought i told you to start watching the superior show, phineas and ferb, you stupid bitch.

**Egg:** junko's gonna kill you idot

**Miss keisha:** wiat im too young to die

**Smol:** wiat

**Miss keisha:** ITS NOT FUNNY SHE KICKED MY DOOR DOWN HELPDOSAPDLASPD,JAOKSPLD

**Itsthegoodkush:** oh no she dead

**Kiwi has changed Miss keisha’s name to Oh my fucking god, she fucking dead.**

**Rotisserie chicken:** and i oop-

**Egg:** kiri turn your ringtone off

**Kiwi:** no

**Egg:** what even is that song?

**Kiwi:** KIRIGIRIKIRIGIRI JINGJING YOU UNCULTURED SWINE

**Gang gang:** kiri turn your fucking phone off, i can hear your stupid ringtone from the fucking bathroom.

**Kiwi:** no

**Egg:** please i can’t take this anymore

**Scissor sister:** answer your goddamn phone you stupid bitch

**Kiwi:** NO

**Itsthegoodkush:** oH GOD

**Smort:** Why is that stupid song playing on the speakers?

**Rotisserie chicken:** wtf is that

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** JUST ANSWER YOUR PHONE 

**Kiwi:** I DON’T WANNA TALK RIGHT NOW

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** TOO BAD 

**Kiwi:** you won’t find me

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** bold of you to assume i’m not behind you.

**Kiwi:** AOHSKJADJKALSDLKAS

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** yo what the fuck

 **Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** this is what you morons do while im killing my sister?

**Oh my fuckin god, she fuckin dead:** wow, this is what you guys do while my sister is killing me?

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** BITCH I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD 

**Oh my fuckin god, she fuckin dead has changed their name to Miss keisha.**

**Miss keisha:** haha get noob

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO?

 **Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** thats it, im burning all of your dvds and throwing your tv out your window

**Yeet:** do you mean yeeting her tv out her window?

**Miss keisha:** shut up aND JUNKO NO ILL DO ANYTHING DONT DO IT

**Moist:** hey can you maybe, idk... shut the fuck up?

**Rulesaremybitch:** Can everyone please calm down? 

**Stronk:** And while you're at it, stop trying to murder each other! Thanks!

**Rotisserie chicken:** yee yee

**Smort:** Morons.

**Kiwi:** no u

**Yeet:** i’ve only known you guys for like a week, but i love all of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Class 78! 
> 
> Makoto: egg  
> Mondo: gang gang  
> Chihiro: smol  
> Taka: rulesaremybitch  
> Toko: scissorsister  
> Celeste: bethanyimadebiscuts  
> Leon: yeet  
> Aoi: moist  
> Sakura: stronk  
> Hifumi: coke addiction  
> Kyoko: kiwi  
> Sayaka: rotisserie chicken  
> Byakuya: smort  
> Hiro: itsthegoodkush  
> Mukuro: miss keisha  
> Junko: imabadbitchucantkillme


	4. burnt toast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Litty titty: whats wrong with toast?
> 
> Pinkie pie kinnie: NOTHING! IBUKI LOVES TOAST!
> 
> Epic gaymer: good to know ;)
> 
> Small but mighty: what was that wink for  
> Small but mighty: IM SHAKING WHAT WAS IT FOR CHIAKI
> 
> Epic gaymer: you’ll find out ;)

_**class 77** _

_**10:49 AM** _

**Ferrari fucker:** guys i may have accidentally set a trash can on fire and it wont go out help

**Fingers in his ass:** funny, i dont remember you setting me on fire

**Epic gaymer:** nagitoe now is not the time for your self-deprecating jokes

**Dad:** where are you? and how do you always get yourself into these situations

**Ferrari fucker:** in the kitchen, aND I DONT KNKW IM SORYY

**Put gerard back:** you should be in class right now

**Dad:** im omw with miss yukizome

**Im babey:** kazuichi why

**Ferrari fucker:** I DOTN KNOW I WAS HUNGEY ANS INWANRED TOAST OKAY FUCK OFF

**Small but mighty:** toast? You wanted toast?

**Ferrari fucker:** ims s sjsksstop

**Litty titty:** whats wrong with toast?

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** NOTHING! IBUKI LOVES TOAST!

**Epic gaymer:** good to know ;)

**Small but mighty:** what was that wink for

 **Small but mighty:** IM SHAKING WHAT WAS IT FOR CHIAKI

**Epic gaymer:** you’ll find out ;)

**Small but mighty:** WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING TO DO

**Nurse joy but cuter:** Realizashun…

**Small but mighty:** WHAT THE FUCK TELL ME WHATS GOING ON AND ATOP HANGIN OUT WITH MIU

**Put gerard back:** guys stop

**Epic gaymer:** bred

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** bred

**Nurse joy but cuter:** bred

**Im babey:** what the fuck is this? A bread cult?

**Beesechurger:** don’t give them any ideas

**Epic gaymer:** join the bred cult

**Sword waifu:** you’re not even spelling it correctly

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** FUCK OFF JANET IM NOT GOING TO YOUR FUCKIN BABY SHOWER

**Litty titty:** :(

**Sword waifu:** thats a shame, sonia really wanted you to be there

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** wait wha

**Kanye west:** hold up-

**Dad:** i leave for five minutes and this is what happens

**Epic gaymer:** it probably still would’ve happened if you were here

**Im babey:** im confused, is sonia/peko pregnant or am i reading too much into things? 

**Litty titty:** only time will tell

**Ferrari fucker:** ummmmm excuse me what the fuck

**Sword waifu:** ;)

**Small but mighty:** mcscuse me? i get that we’re teenagers, but stop being h*rny on main

**BEGONE THOT:** im feeling a little attacked right now

**Litty titty:** okay but for real, neither of us are preggers!

**Im babey:** thank god

**God:** you’re welcome

**Epic gaymer:** bless

**Put gerard back:** you should get off your phones before miss yukizome takes them from you

**Ferrari fucker:** haha sorry, i live on the wild sideeeekwssldjaMlallalalLLLLLanlal

**Epic gaymer:** rip kazuichi, you will be missed

**Nurse joy but cuter:** lit rally an inspire a shin luv xx

**Fingers in his ass:** wait hwo don i jojn the bred clit

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Kanye west:** thats poor naw graph ee luv

**Epic gaymer:** i-

**Dad:** you should listen to mahiru and get off your phones

**Nurse joy but cuter:** sorry dae day, got a bit caugh up innit x

**Kanye west:** i can barely contain my laughter

**Small but mighty:** SHUT UP NERDSSFSAAAGDSKDLSLSSLLMNKznNdnapqp

**Beesechurger:** not the child!

**Kanye west:** *haiji voice* i like em younger, as young as possible

**Epic gaymer:** SJAKAK HAJIME NO

 **Epic gaymer:** i swear if chisa takes my phone because of you crackheads im gonna mcfreaking lose itrYSTsmMMMM

**Beesechurger:** she said MMMMMMMMMMDSAJDIOPAMWJDIAWODJ<NIOP

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** NO SHE SAID MMMMMMMMMAMAQLQLAPQPQ0QOIDJD

**Fingers in his ass:** guys chiaki clearly said MMMMMAIOSPIY38O3O393O3SHSJXSUNDEO10NXOCND10CJ2EGU9R2NVU92R2JV49U

**Im babey:** you’re all morons

**Spooky boi:** excuse you sir

**Im babey:** i just mean like the ones who got their phones takenensmsl¿

**Sword waifu:** rest in peace young master, you will be missed

**Kanye west:** will he?

**Ditto kinnie:** eh…

**Sword waifu:** What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

**Put gerard back:** peko that took way too long to be copied and pasted, and miss yukizome didn’t even notice wtf

**Kanye west:** i didnt take you for a memer peko

**Sword waifu:** who said i was trying to meme?

**Kanye west:** i am in fear for my life

**God:** good

**Kanye west:** disrespecful innit

 **Kanye west:** amaaKalaqlp19wjsna

**God:** :)

**Nurse joy but cuter:** lit rally wurs of wisum luv x


	5. lit rally a nick oh teen addiction luv x

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuckin weeb: what do you REALLY think of kaede
> 
> Horny on main: litcherly a porn staughr luv xx
> 
> Evil gremlin: U r rite abouit thaet luv xox
> 
> Kae is gae: WHAT
> 
> Nerd: HASDHADASJHAJIDH
> 
> Emo gremlin: hjsdhsaoojkasod
> 
> Fuckin weeb: exposed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is just miu infecting class 79 with her british memes and getting them high

**_Class 69 (but not really)_ **

**_4:42 pm_ **

**Horny on main:** It wasn’t luv… it was a purfekt illushun xx

**Nerd:** how do you come up with this sutf im dyshuing

**Mother:** What happened, Miu?

**Kae is gae:** long story short, miu wants a dog and i said no

**Horny on main:** That’s absolutely bullocks luv x

**Chocka Oofka:** its not that big of a deal

**Horny on main:** dont talk me im angy

**Evil gremlin:** maybeh shes bown wiit it, ore maybe, juss maybeh, it’s mentahl illnuss innit luv? xx

**Its an avocado, thanks:** NO

**Horny on main:** woah luv tha caugh me off guard

**Evil gremlin:** Sowns lyke, Yew got a fren in me innit luv xx

**Horny on main:** tahts not sumthing to be proud of luv xx

**Nerd:** dsajasldkj

**Kae is gae:** i-

**Fuckin weeb:** whats happening

**A knife!:** i’ve learned not to question it

**An avocado, thanks:** wait what was that rumble

**Evil gremlin:** Sorry luv, i shidded xx

**Horny on main:** R u lac toes in tol ur ant luv?

**Nerd:** asidhasjdmajsd

**Nice gremlin:** wtf

**Oaf:** Gonta confused

**Emo gremlin:** you’re not the only one buddy

**Kae is gae:** why is this happening

 **Kae is gae:** i mean im not mad

**Evil gremlin:** disuhpoinment innit xx

**Horny on main:** we on wut? we on CRACK luvs 

**Kae is gae:** that better be a joke

**Dummy thicc:** yikes, you might not wanna come to your dorm then

**Kae is gae:** bro wtf

**Nerd:** miu what does the fox say

**Horny on main:** bitch i dont know, like REEEEEEEEEEEE or somehting

**Fuckin weeb:** what do you REALLY think of kaede

**Horny on main:** litcherly a porn staughr luv xx

**Evil gremlin:** U r rite abouit thaet luv xox

**Kae is gae:** WHAT

**Nerd:** HASDHADASJHAJIDH

**Emo gremlin:** hjsdhsaoojkasod

**Fuckin weeb:** exposed

**Chocka Oofka:** base sick mafematics x

**Kae is gae:** NO NOT ANGIE

**Nice gremlin:** i’m afraid it’s too late for her

**Chocka Oofka:** sew tru!

**Kae is gae:** WHATS HAPPENED TO THEM

**Dummy thicc:** we stole yasuhiro's weed

**Horny on main:** lit rally a nick oh teen addiction luv x

**Kae is gae:** miu istg

**Mother:** everyday we stray further from god

**Its an avocado, thanks:** look, you’ve broken mom

**Fuckin weeb:** it was bound to happen at some point

**A knife!:** first day of school and miu angie kokichi and kaito are smoking weed, kirumi is broken, and i think someone from class 77 threw the coffee machine out of the window

**Its an avocado, thanks:** i bet it was ibuki

**Emo gremlin:** NO NOT THE COFFEE MACHINE

**Horny on main:** home of fhobia at its finest luv x

**Kae is gae:** you know what im coming over there

 **Kae is gae:** you better pass me the fucking weed

**Nerd:** oh god

**A knife!:** kaede don’t become one of them

**Mother:** we in this bitch finna get crunk eyebrows on fleek dafuq

**Nerd:** AODJASMDHASI

**Fuckin weeb:** why

**Evil gremlin:** i through a hole buck et of acid out a kaede n miu’s windough 

**Mother:** Jus pressious luv! Absoluley gorghas! Proud mammy tings

**Fuckin weeb:** WHY

**Kae is gae:** she’s on crack luvs xx

**Nerd:** HAHAHDHA

**Oaf:** what happening?

**Emo gremlin:** i'm afraid miu has infected them

**Nice gremlin:** rip 

**Dummy thicc:** woa luv wha im hallusinating xx

**A knife!:** disappointed but not surprised

**Dummy thicc:** cum ovee here makiirolo

**A knife!:** no

**Fuckin weeb:** someone has to supervise them

**A knife!:** you do it

**Fuckin weeb:** im alreadae high, sorry luv xx

**A knife!:** goddammit tsumugi

**Nerd:** y’all wild

**Evil gremlin:** no u

**Nerd:** wow disrespecful innit

**A knife!:** not you too

**Nerd:** in my defense i just got here

**Nice gremlin:** wait theres weed?

**Emo gremlin:** yeah, in miu and kaede’s dorm

**Nice gremlin:** bless

**The local gay:** wait i dont wanna go in there with a bunch of degenerate males

**Nice gremlin:** you dont have to come with

**The local gay:** i’ll come to protect you!

**Nice gremlin:** uwu i lob u

**The local gay:** love you too <3

**Dummy thicc:** gay 

**Nice gremlin:** what about it

**Dummy thicc:** it gay

**Nice gremlin:** and?

**Dummy thicc:** weed nice but tiddy nicer

**Chocka Oofka:** PREACH

**Horny on main:** ain tha the truf x

**A knife!:** i’m in a room full of a bunch of idiots, help me

**Kae is gae:** miu su skinnay luv nu one cud compare xx

**Horny on main:** luv,,, eye donut gaht curves! butt yer bewbes lewk ashstonesheng!

**Emo gremlin:** ashstonesheng 

**Horny on main:** ang is lichirally a godes luv

**Chocka Oofka:** u ar lit rally bhody ghoaals, hwo are u so prittie, ur tats are pur fecc shun 

**Fuckin weeb:** das gae luv

**A knife!:** case and point

**Its an avocado, thanks:** okay but you have to admit, it’s kinda funny

**Evil gremlin:** kinda funae? im licherlay a riot luv

**A knife!:** it may be funny, but they’re still idiots

**Its an avocado, thanks:** but they’re fun idiots!

**Oaf:** gonta still confused

**A knife!:** don’t worry about it buddy

**Horny on main:** who do u fink gave u da teef luv xx

**Robo bitch:** Why do you act like this

**Horny on main:** depreshan innit x

**Nerd:** HAHJDSHASNDMASJORMU

**Evil gremlin:** i thin we ALL hav depreshan luv

**Oaf:** Gonta worried

**Kae is gae:** don worrae luv, yuh valid

**Its an avocado, thanks:** okay, im omw maki

**A knife!:** finally

**Oaf:** Gonta help?

**Horny on main:** so pure innit luv x

**Robo bitch:** Gonta, I would suggest staying away from Miu’s dorm. For safety purposes.

 **Robo bitch:** WAHTA PUT EM DOWNADKLASJ

**A knife!:** what happened?

**Its an avocado, thanks:** gonta picked up keebo and started bolting towards mius dorm

**A knife!:** of course

 **A knife!:** they're gonna get gonta high too, aren't they?

**Its an avocado, thanks:** probably

**Horny on main:** kokichi lookin like sum fresh fish n chips luv

**Evil gremlin:** wisum luv, wisum xx

**Robo bitch:** This room is full of high teenagers laughing at memes.

**Its an avocado, thanks:** not to far off from our normal day, i'm here btw

**A knife!:** An angel luv xx gah bless

**Its an avocado, thanks:** NOT MAKI, MIU YOU’VE INFECTED EVERYONE

**Robot bitch:** Gawjuz luv, lit rally 

**Its an avocado, thanks:** HOW DID YOU GET KEEBO HIGH??? HES A ROBOT??? AND HE WAS FINE LIKE FIVE SECONDS AGO????

**Horny on main:** mafematics luv xx

**Its an avocado, thanks:** ain tha the truf

**_Class 69 (but not actually)_ **

**_5:38 pm_ **

**Weirdo:** why is all of class 78 screaming high school musical songs at the top of their lungs?

 **Weirdo:** guys

 **Weirdo:** guys?

 **Weirdo:** oh no you’re all high

 **Weirdo:** wait im on my way


	6. heterosexuality? never heard of her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Imabadbitchyoucantkillme: we have ONE important rule, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER SHOULD YOU BE HETERO RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME
> 
> Yeet: sowwy 
> 
> Imabadbitchyoucantkillme: being straight is fine,,,, i just,,,, it makes me uncomfortable

_**o shi junkos gonna kill u**_

_**5:34 pm** _

**Moist:** raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

**Rotisserie chicken:** STICKING MY DICK IN ROTISSERIE CHICKENS

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** do you idiots have anything better to do other than quote tik toks?

**Egg:** not really, no

**Smort:** Get a life.

**Egg:** b-but you are my life…

**Coke addiction:** ew

 **Coke addiction:** y’all nasty

**Gang gang:** thats gay

**Egg:** stfu

**Kiwi:** ayy lmao

 **Kiwi:** who wants to jump off the roof with me lol

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** i apologize for kiri’s behaviour, she stayed up all night watching TV

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** you were with her?

**Kiwi:** wink wonk

**Gang gang:** thats homosexual

**Egg:** you’re literally eye fucking taka right now

**Gang gang:** no im not

**Smol:** uwu miwster baldi, pwease dont huwt me

 **Smol:** sorry wrong chat

**Coke addiction:** who was that message for?

**Smol:** uhhhh… gotta zayn

**Rotisserie chicken:** too soon

**Egg:** its been like 5 years

**Rotisserie chicken:** still too soon

**Mono** 🅱️ **uma has joined the chat.**

**Mono** 🅱 **uma:** whats up my fellow teens

**Kiwi:** who are you and what are you doing here 

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** ayy whats up lil bro

**Miss keisha:** kuma you probably shouldn’t be in this chat

**Mono** 🅱 **uma:** i wanna sea what big sis junkrat and murkrow’s classmates r like!

**Egg:** AJHDAIDA JUNKRAT NADNN NMMURKROW

**Imabadbitchyoucantkill:** i will rip your spine out and use it as a fork to eat your deteriorating body, don’t test me doctor eggman

**Egg:** jesus christ-

**Kiwi:** you’re going to scare the child

**Mono** 🅱 **u** **ma:** luv nuttin scares me xx

**kiwi has removed mono** 🅱️ **uma from the chat.**

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** yo what the fuck that was my bro

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** he’s a child, he shouldn’t be here

**Kiwi:** yee

**Smort:** Get out.

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** but sir, this is my emotional support crackhead!

**Itsthegoodkush:** stop calling each other crackheads the last time i offered u guys crack u threatened to call the police

**Kiwi:** tbh i could use some of the good kush rn

**Egg:** uhhh 

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** No.

**Kiwi:** i dont remember asking for your opinion goth bitch

**Egg:** UHHH

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** How dare you.

**Kiwi:** o shit i take it back 

**Smort:** I’ve lost the last sliver of respect I had for you Kirigiri.

**Kiwi:** ayyy you respected me lmao

**Rotisserie chickens:** so anYWAYS, Ibuki invited me to jam with her

 **Rotisserie chickens:** you wanna come with me leon?

**Yeet:** of course ;)

**Miss keisha:** what was that wink for

**Rotisserie chicken:** i too wish to know what the wink was for

**Yeet:** oh nothing ;)

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** we have ONE important rule, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER SHOULD YOU BE HETERO RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME

**Yeet:** sowwy 

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** being straight is fine,,,, i just,,,, it makes me uncomfortable

**Rotisserie chicken:** i gae

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** mood

**Yeet:** i was just joking uwu dow huwt me im gae

**Moist:** heterosexuality? never heard of her

**Coke addiction:** I AM RIGHT HERE

**Imabadbitchucantkillme:** not for long

**itsthegoodkush:** what the fuck

**Miss keisha:** rip hifumi, gone and definitely forgotten

**Coke addiction:** rude but ok


	7. hetero rights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fingers in his ass: yeah im gay AND homophobic, we exist
> 
> Epic gaymer: BSKBSDBASDJHNSD
> 
> Kanye west: homophobic rights!
> 
> BEGONE THOT: straight pride
> 
> Fingers in his ass has changed the chat name to straight pride!1!1!1
> 
> Dad: nO-

**_Class 77_ **

**_3:46 am_ **

**Epic gaymer:** help my big tiddy goth gf is mad at me

**Dad:** chiaki its 3 in the morning YOU NEED SLEEP I CARE ABOUT YOUR WELLBEING

**Epic gaymer:** THANKS DAD

**Kanye west:** are you talking about mikan or ibuki?

**Litty titty:** either way i'm sure things will work out!

**Small but mighty:** guys shut the fuck up

**Nurse joy but cuter:** wisum luv xx

**Epic gaymer:** big tiddy goth gf im sowwy 

**Epic gaymer:** buT I STG IF YOU DON'T COME TO MY DORM IN LIKE THREE SECONDS I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS BUt not actually cuz i love you

**BEGONE THOT:** gay

**Litty titty:** gay rights!

**Ferrari fucker:** miss sonia said gay rights

**Fingers in his ass:** stop being gay on main

**Nurse joy but cuter:** home of fhobia at its finest luv x

**Fingers in his ass:** yeah im gay AND homophobic, we exist

**Epic gaymer:** BSKBSDBASDJHNSD

**Kanye west:** homophobic rights!

**BEGONE THOT:** straight pride

**Fingers in his ass has changed the chat name to straight pride!1!1!1**

**Dad:** nO-

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** GAY? NEVER HEARD OF HER, I ONLY KNOW heterosexuality

**Sword waifu:** why is heterosexuality in lowercase?

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** DONT QUESTION ME

**Epic gaymer:** that’s cool and all bUT MIKAN WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME???

**Dad:** PLEASE GO TO SLEEP 

**Dad:** I'M CONCERNED FOR YOUR WELLBEING

**Nurse joy but cuter:** sorry dae day, we a bit cray cray innit xx

**Dad:** what the fuck

**Epic gaymer:** MIKAN LOVE ME

**Pinke pie kinnie:** LOVE ME TOO

**Nurse joy but cuter:** FINE YOU USELESS LESBIANS

 **Nurse joy but cuter:** im sorry i didn’t mean that you’re not useless

**Epic gaymer:** GET YOUR CUTE BUTT OVER HERE

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** SDIAJHDAS DLOVE LOVE ME LOVE ME SAY THAT YOU OLVE ME FEOFL ME FOEOL ME GO ONA DAWND FOOL ME

**Dad:** GO TO SLEEP PLEASE 

**BEGONE THOT:** i luv u dae day

**Dad:** TERUTERU WHY 

**Dad:** ALL I WANT IS FOR MY CHILDREN TO SLEEP

 **Dad:** PLEASE GOD

**God:** okay

 **God:** go the fuck to sleep or i’ll personally rip your fingernails out of your fingers with no remorse whatsoever

**Nurse joy but cuter:** ok itsuki sumeragi kinnie

**God:** whats that

**Nurse joy but cuter:** nevermind

**Dad:** GO TO SLEEP

\---

**_Class 69 (but not really)_ **

**_4:13 am_ **

**Evil gremlin:** who wants to make a bomb

**Its an avocado, thanks:** lmao why not

**Horny on main:** ooo fun

**Kae is gae:** okay but why

**Mother:** What could you possibly need a bomb for?

**Evil gremlin:** that is none of your concern

**Mother:** I worry for you.

**Evil gremlin:** thanks mom! means a lot!

**A knife!:** are we just not gonna talk about how its 4 in the morning??? and why do you want to make a bomb???

**Evil gremlin:** don’t question me

**Dummy thicc:** why are you gay

**Evil gremlin:** why are you straight

**Dummy** **thicc:** maki

**Evil gremlin:** thats fair

**Chocka Oofka:** i made a confetti bomb when i was seven

 **Chocka Oofka:** i think you're talking about a different kind of bomb though

 **Chocka Oofka:** either way i'm in

**Horny on main:** omg making a bomb with my big tiddy gf and small tiddy gf, now thats what i call an epic gaymer moment

**Evil gremlin:** lit rally couple goals xx

**Dummy thicc:** I SWEAR IF YOU DON'T STOP WITH THE BRITISH THING IM GONNA SCREAM

**Horny on main:** liv lauf luv 

**Emo gremlin:** who the fuck just screamed

 **Emo gremlin:** some of us are trying to sleep

**Dummy thicc:** sowwy

**Nice** **gremlin:** im not usually like this but if you don't shut up i won't hesitate to steal your toes

**Horny on main:** kinky

**Kae is gae:** its not

**Horny on main:** kinky

**Kae is gae:** wHAT dO yOU MEAN?? ITS LITERALLY NOT??? WHAT THE FUCKSI DJSALKD alkdahsjlksjkldklpsd:O[ADS,MDnjsSOKDFHWFEOIUPAHAOMIADSKL

**fuckin weeb:** rip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know how this chatfic is going to end and everyone is going to hate me I can already feel it.


	8. miu's side hoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cockitchy: you’re class is on crack
> 
> Hajigay: didn’t your class smoke so much weed the school had to be evacuated?
> 
> Cockitchy: fair point
> 
> Big Daddy: hEY YASUHIRO’S WeED WAS BEGGInG tO BE SMOkED
> 
> Pound it: SO IT WAS YOU WHO STOLE HIS WEED
> 
> Big Daddy: uhhh gotta g o

**_10:32 am_ **

**_Straight pride !1!1!1_ **

  
  


**Ferrari fucker:** WHY IS IBUKI TAPING BREAD TO HER BODY???

**Epic gaymer:** bred

**Small but mighty:** what the fuck

 **Small but mighty:** why is mikan chanting something in latin

**Kanye west:** i’m scared

**Dad:** WHY THE FUCK DID IBUKI JUST JUMP OUT THE WINDOW?

**Nurse joy but cuter:** tahts art luv x

**Fingers in his ass:** art does present itself in many ways

**Ditto kinnie:** Ibuki jumping out of a window while covered in bread is art? 

**Epic gaymer:** to us it is

**Dad:** who's us?

**Nurse joy but cuter:** bred cult

**Im babey:** are none of you concerned for ibuki

**Dad:** I AM

**Litty titty:** guys miss yukizome is gonna take our phones again

**Im babey:** bUT IBUKI LITERALLY JUMPED OUT OF THE WINDOW?? SHE SHOULD BE CHECKING TO SEE IF SHES OKAY? AND NOT TAKING OUR PHONES?

**Epic gaymer:** rip ibuki

**Nurse joy but cuter:** she was so seks c luv x

**Pinkie pie kinnie:** mAIKAN HEAPLP IAMSKD DIUEHYFNIG

**Nurse joy but cuter:** wsaaiT fUCJAIKC IBNAuKI IM COAMUNG

**Small but mighty:** what the fuck

**Epic gaymer:** this is fine.

**God:** why

**Ferrari fucker:** why not

**Spooky boi:** why why not?

**Beesechurger:** what

**Spooky boi:** what

**Small but mighty:** IM CONFUSED

**Litty titty:** well, i’m going to help miu make a bomb, peace out homies

**Sword waifu:** i-

**Small but mighty:** sTOP HANGING OUT WITH MIU SHES CRAZY

**Litty titty:** we have a deep connection

**Im babey:** are you one of her many side hoes or something?

**BEGONE THOT:** *gasp* I HAVE AN IDEA  
  


**Small but mighty:** did you just type out gasp

**BEGONE THOT:** fuck off

\--

**_10:42 am_ **

**Teruteru Hanamura has made a new chat!**

**Teruteru Hanamura has added 5 others to the chat!**

**Teruteru Hanamura has changed the chat name to Miu’s side hoes.**

**Miu Iruma:** AHAHHAHA

**Miu Iruma:** but wait i’ve converted another

**Sonia Nevermind:** yay!

**Miu Iruma has added Leon Kuwata to the chat.**

**Hajime Hinata:** welcome to the dark side

**Leon Kuwata:** its nice to be here

**Miu Iruma has changed the names of 7 others.**

**Cockitchy:** what the fuck

**Big Daddy:** sorry luv xx

**Pound it:** and that's on Peppa pig Stan luv xx

**Hajigay:** Oh im for tha im all for tha

**SoNUT:** Whoa luv .. that was a lil bit gorjus

**Kinky:** you are my inspirashun luv, jes zest crust is my safier tahts on periodt 

**Big Daddy:** AHHHAHAHAHH 

**Mitochondria:** i would laugh but ibuki broke her leg so i'm kinda preoccupied with that

**Pound it:** oh shit

 **Pound it:** what happened? is she okay?

**Hajigay:** she jumped out of a window

**Big Daddy:** WHY????

**Mitochondria:** we have a bread cult

**Pound it:** what does a bread cult have to do with jumping out a window?

**Mitochondria:** honestly i have no idea

 **Mitochondria:** ibuki was just like “i’m gonna jump out a window for the bread gods” and chiaki was like “okay thats nice” and im still confused but im going along with it because i dont know what else to do

**Big Daddy:** jeez

 **Big Daddy:** can i join?

**Mitochondria:** sure! i’ll have to tell chiaki though

**Cockitchy:** you’re class is on crack

**Hajigay:** didn’t your class smoke so much weed the school had to be evacuated?

**Cockitchy:** fair point

**Big Daddy:** hEY YASUHIRO’S WeED WAS BEGGInG tO BE SMOkED

**Pound it:** SO IT WAS YOU WHO STOLE HIS WEED

**Big Daddy:** uhhh gotta g o

**Pound it:** yOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT SOME FOR ME

**Big Daddy:** sorry bro, next time i will

**Kinky:** OMHG LETS HAVE A WEED PARTY

**Mitochondria:** NO

**SoNUT:** Bollocks luv....

\--

**_11:04 am_ **

**_Class 69 (but not really)_ **

  
  


**Horny on main:** mikan won’t let us have a weed party :(

**Kae is gae:** that’s probably for the best

**Robo bitch:** NEVER AGAIN

**Nerd:** look, you’ve traumatized kiibo

  
**Horny on main:** sowwy

 **Horny on** **main:** also the bomb is coming along nicely ;)

**Mother:** This isn't going to end well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names of the hoes:  
> Big Daddy: Miu  
> Cockitchy: Kokichi  
> Kinky: Teruteru  
> Hajigay: Hajime  
> Mitochondria: Mikan  
> Pound it: Leon
> 
> i just wrote a bunch of angst and im sad now :(


	9. join the darhk side luv xx

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Egg: sowwy dad
> 
> Smort: Don’t call me that.
> 
> Scissor sister: what about daddy?
> 
> Smort: I think that’s worse.
> 
> Scissor sister: sowwy daddy
> 
> Smort: STOP
> 
> Scissor sister: don’t worry the only person i call daddy is naegi’s sister
> 
> Egg: WHAT

**_11:24 pm_ **

**_o shi junko’s gonna kill u_ **

  
  


**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** i’m will defenestrate my sister in approximately 69 seconds

**Moist:** hey wtf does defenestrate mean 

**Itsthegoodkush:** stog using big woarsd u know im stoopinfd

**Kiwi:** what the fuck

**Miss keisha:** please dont

**Yeet:** lit rally madness luv x

**Egg:** on no leons been infected

**Yeet:** join the darhk side luv xx

**Egg:** NO 

**Rotisserie chicken:** lowkey in the mood for mukuro to beat the shit out of me and crush my esophagus

**Gang gang:** sounds kinky

**Miss keisha:** this can be arranged 

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** wAIT dONT START FUCKING MY SISTER OR ILL BE mAD

**Rotisserie chicken:** ;)

**Egg:** i don’t know about you, but that seemed pretty gay

**Smort:** You say that like over half of our class isn’t homosexual.

**Egg:** sowwy dad

**Smort:** Don’t call me that.

**Scissor sister:** what about daddy?

**Smort:** I think that’s worse.

**Scissor sister:** sowwy daddy

**Smort:** STOP

**Scissor sister:** don’t worry the only person i call daddy is naegi’s sister

**Egg:** WHAT

**Yeet:** that’s pretty gay

**Scissor sister:** your point?

**Egg:** BRO STOP FUCKING MY SISTER 

**Egg:** WHEN DID YOU TWO EVEN MEET???

**Scissor sister:** dont worry about it 

**Miss keisha:** aJDHASDK

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** just killed someone 

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** feeling: sad

**Rulesaremybitch:** I hope you’re joking.

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** my classmate thinks i’m joking about murdering someone.

 **Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** feeling: dubious 

**Gang gang:** this is why everyone is scared of you

**Miss keisha:** it was me, the person she killed

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** HOW DO YOU KEEP ESCAPING DEATH????

**Miss keisha:** when a cute girl asks me to crush her esophagus, i can do anything

**Rotisserie chicken:** you think i’m cute ≧◡≦

**Egg:** NOT THE EMOTICONS

**Rotisserie chicken:** my emoticon phase is back baby! (>‿◠)✌

**Yeet:** you wanna fight? (ง︡'-'︠)ง

**Rotisserie chicken:** ☜(ˆ▿ˆc) mukuro a weird man is trying to fight me 

**Miss keisha:** ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ square up

**Yeet:** oh shit ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;･_･)┘

**Miss keisha:** not so fast ε=ε=ε=ε=ε=┌( ・＿・)┘

**Moist:** (；๏д๏) are you okay? i saw that weird man come up to you

**Rotisserie chicken:** (*＾▽＾)／ yeah! my wife is taking care of it 

**Moist:** go sayaka's wife ( * ́꒳`*)੭

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** what the fuck is happenning

**Itsthegoodkush:** i don’t know

**Rotisserie chicken:** 凸ಠ益ಠ)凸 

**Rotisserie chicken:** you ruined our story ( ˃̣̣̥ω˂̣̣̥ )

**Miss keisha:** (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** is that supposed to be you flipping a table?

**Miss keisha:** yes

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** i-

 **Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** i don’t have time for this

**Miss keisha:** do you guys wanna hear an idea i got last night?

**Rulesaremybitch:** i’m always open to hearing my classmates ideas!

**Miss keisha:** okay

 **Miss keisha:** pixie sticks but they're filled with poison

**Rulesaremybitch:** do you take constructive criticism?

**Miss keisha:** no

**Rules are my bitch:** okay, have a nice day!

**Gang gang:** dont listen to him

 **Gang gang:** have a terrible day you gremlin

**Miss keisha:** the only gremlin I know is kokichi

**Gang gang:** that’s fair

**Yeet:** speaking of kokichi, isn’t he making a bomb?

**Smort:** Why is he making a bomb?

**Rulesaremybitch:** I hope he doesn’t intend on doing anything illegal with it.

**Gang gang:** have you met kokichi?

**Rulesaremybitch:** fair point.

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** i actually have it with me right now

**Kiwi:** why

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** well we all take turns working on the bomb, it’s my turn 

**Yeet:** why are you participating 

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** why not

**Smol:** can i help? i know how to make bombs 

**Moist:** WHY DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE BOMBS???

**Smol:** i used to make them a lot for fun!

**Egg:** stop being pure

 **Egg:** and are we just glossing over the fact toko’s fucking my sister???

**Scissor sister:** yes

**Egg:** i mean as long as you guys are happy

**Kiwi:** if i wasn’t gay i would have a crush on you

**Egg:** thank you?

**Bethanyimadebiscuts:** i’ll inform the rest 

**Smol:** tank u

**Smort:** Why did you say “thank you,” like that? 

**Egg:** he’s just having fun! and it’s cute!

**Smort:** I don’t see the point in it, but okay.

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** whipped

**Miss keisha:** gay

**Smort:** No.

**Gang gang:** what a response

**Egg:** uwu

**Smort:** Stop.

**Egg:** sowwy

**Smort:** NOT THIS AGAIN!

**Smort has left the chat.**

**Imabadbitchyoucantkillme:** rip

**Egg:** :(

**Miss keisha has added Byakuya Togami to the chat.**

**Byakuya Togami has left the chat.**

**Miss keisha has added Byakuya Togami to the chat.**

**Byakuya Togami has left the chat.**

**Miss keisha has added Byakuya Togami to the chat.**

**Egg:** STOP

**Byakuya Togami:** Sorry, but I simply don’t want to be apart of this chat.

**Scissor sister:** did byakuya say sorry? what have you done to him makoto?

**Egg:** NOTHING!!!

**Rotisserie chicken has changed Byakuya Togami’s name to Richie Rich.**

**Richie Rich:** Why?

**Rotisserie chicken:** why not! o((*^▽^*))o 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst is coming, and i'd like to apologize in advance


	10. scones

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back from the depths of hell

**_2:53 pm_ **

**_Class 69 (but not really)_ **

**Horny on main:** Just got detention AGAIN for fingering myself in class :/ ugh 

**Horny on main:** FEELING: Proud

**Kae is gae:** what the fuck

**Chocka Oofka:** Atua doesn’t approve 

**Fuckin weeb:** i should be used to this by now buT WHAT THE FUCK MIU

**Robo bitch:** Why? Why do you do this, Miu?

**Horny on main:** gotta dab on them haters

**Evil gremlin:** fellas is it gay when you’re heart goes skrrrahh pap pap ka-ka-ka skidiki-pap-pap pu-pu-pudrrrr-boom for your homie

**Kae is gae:** yes

**The local gay:** yes

**Horny on main:** yes

**Its an avocado, thanks:** yes

**Evil gremlin:** wow thanks

**Weirdo:** Hey, Miu, Yasuhiro told me you should avoid scones for the next couple of days.

**Horny on main:** thx for the advice luv xx won’t see me chokin on a scone today rite xx <3

**Weirdo:** You’re welcome?

**Kae is gae:** i hate you i love you i hATE THAT I LOVE YOU

**Horny on main:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**Chocka Oofka:** (ɔ◔‿◔)ɔ ♥

**Kae is gae:** (灬♥ω♥灬)

**Evil gremlin:** lih rally sow cyoot tewgehthuh luv x

**Horny on main:** SALKJDASKDMNA

**Nerd:** bRO SJASJIAM DASYDING

**Mother:** i cant do this anymore

**Fuckin weeb:** im so sorry you have to deal with us

**Robo bitch:** Might fuck around and expose everyones secrets.

 **Robo bitch:** FEELING: Scandalous ;)

**Emo gremlin:** like you know my deepest secrets lmao

**Horny on main:** WAIT WHO THE FUCK TAUGHT KIIBO HOW TO FUCKING SWEAR

 **Horny on main:** THIS ISN’T FUCKING OKAY

**Fuckin weeb:** IT WAS LITERALLY YOU

**Chocka Oofka:** might fuck around and pour neon green paint on kokichi 

**Chocka Oofka:** FEELING: Prepared.

**Horny on main:** yOURE LEARNING SO FAST

**Kae is gae:** y’know what, i miss my old name…

**Horny on main:** wait-

**Kae is gae has changed their name to PEEanist.**

**Horny on main:** aIJSHDSKJDMSANKDJNASKLJDLK FHAJACKING PEE OMGSAYDHASMDIAS

**Mother:** for the love of god

**Emo gremlin:** god is dead and we killed him

**Robo bitch:** Miu and Kaede keep talking about “scissoring.” I think they’re wrapping my Christmas gift y'all

**The local gay:** i-

**Mother:** Kiibo it’s July.

**Robo bitch:** Maybe they’re planning ahead?

**PEEanist:** yes that is exactly what we’re doing

**Horny on main:** uh yeahhhh haha you caught us

**Chocka Oofka:** no it’s a sex thing

**PEEanist:** ANGIE I DIDN’T EXPECT THIS FROM YOU OF ALL PEOPLE

**Chocka Oofka:** you were the one talking about scissoring in the first place, whore

**PEEanist:** I-

**Evil** **gremlin:** sdajdklsjadaoimdj

**Nerd:** GUYS I JUST SAW A CHILD DOWN A WHOLE BOTTLE OF VINEGAR PDLASIDPOASKA

**Nice** **gremlin:** that was me-

**Nerd:** OH-

**The local gay:** WHY 

**Nice gremlin:** it gives me a buzz

**Mother:** i'm putting you all up for adoption

**Horny on main:** Moo therhod luv xx

**A knife!:** PLEASE STOP I'M BEGGING YOU

**Evil gremlin: re lhi jus quh een luv xx**

**_3:25 pm_ **

**Evil gremlin:** y'all really left me on read huh

_**3:27 pm** _

**Evil gremlin:** smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really dipped on y'all for 4 months and became a kpop stan lmao 
> 
> anyways stream monster and naughty by irene & seulgi


End file.
